this is more of a riddle but watever :) you are stuck in a room with no windows and no doors that's impossible to break through. All there is is a mirror and a table. How do you get out? You look in the mirror and see what you saw You take the saw and cut through the middle of the table Now the table is in two halves You put back together because two halves make a whole. You jump through the hole.
This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.
The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”
“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.
The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”
“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
A young couple is out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up.
When the spedometer hits 100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car. The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help," he pleads.
She replies, "I can't, I'm naked."
He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover yourself with that and go get help." She takes the shoe, covers herself, and runs to the gas station down the road.
When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "Help! Help! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch and replies, "I'm sorry Miss. He's too far in."
what did the taco say the the other taco?
ReplyDeleteyour joke is so cheesy...
Knock knock
ReplyDeletewho is there?
little old lady
little old lady who?
woah i didnt know that u could yodle??!!!!
what did the ocean do to the other ocean? they waved.
ReplyDeleteWhat is a cow and a moose put together called?
ReplyDeleteAnswer: a MOOse
Great jokes guys! Remember; you can can enter as many times as you want!
ReplyDeleteQ. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
ReplyDeleteA. “Give me my quarterback!”
this is more of a riddle but watever :)
ReplyDeleteyou are stuck in a room with no windows and no doors that's impossible to break through. All there is is a mirror and a table. How do you get out?
You look in the mirror and see what you saw
You take the saw and cut through the middle of the table
Now the table is in two halves
You put back together because two halves make a whole.
You jump through the hole.
How do you annoy Lady Gaga?
ReplyDeletePoke her face
What happens when you combine a bear and a skunk?
ReplyDeleteYou get Winnie the Pooh :)
I <3 Winnie the Pooh, it's just a joke! :)
u lov winnie the poo...? wow...
ReplyDeleteThe corn family was having a family reunion.
ReplyDeleteThere was grandpacorn
grandmacorn
sistercorn
brothercorn
cousin corn.
but where was popcorn?
Wow great jokes! :)
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Shelby!
Shelby who?
Shelby comin' round the mountain when she comes..!
Anne:
ReplyDeleteBlonde Cop
This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.
The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”
“Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.
The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”
“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
ReplyDeleteHer boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
A young couple is out carousing one evening.
ReplyDeleteWhile driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up.
When the spedometer hits 100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car. The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help," he pleads.
She replies, "I can't, I'm naked."
He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover yourself with that and go get help." She takes the shoe, covers herself, and runs to the gas station down the road.
When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "Help! Help! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch and replies, "I'm sorry Miss. He's too far in."